If you’ve had the unfortunate experience of deep grief, chances are you have felt misunderstood in that process. Everyone is watching in those early days, and no matter how we grieve, it feels wrong.
Losing someone close to you is one of the most painful experiences a person can go through. It’s a time of deep grief, sorrow, and confusion that can leave you feeling lost and alone. For those who have experienced deep grief, they often wish that other people understood the complexity of their emotions and the grieving process. Here are some things that people who have experienced deep grief wish that others understood about them and their grief:
1. Grief is a process that doesn’t have a timeline.
One of the most common misconceptions about grief is that it has a timeline. People may think that after a certain amount of time, the person should be “over it” or “moving on.” However, grief is a deeply personal process that doesn’t have a set timeline. Some people may feel better after a few months, while others may take years to feel like themselves again. It’s important to understand that grief is a process and that everyone experiences it differently.
2. Grief is not just about sadness.
Grief is often associated with sadness, but it’s important to understand that it’s not the only emotion that people feel. Anger, guilt, regret, and even relief can be part of the grieving process. It’s important to allow the person to feel and express all of their emotions without judgment.
3. Everyone grieves differently.
Just as grief doesn’t have a set timeline, everyone grieves differently. Some people may want to talk about their loved one, while others may prefer to keep their memories private. Some people may find comfort in being surrounded by others, while others may need time alone. It’s important to respect the person’s individual grieving process and not try to force them into a certain way of coping.
4. Grief is not something you can “fix.”
Many people want to help their loved ones who are grieving, but it’s important to understand that grief is not something that can be fixed. It’s a process that the person needs to work through on their own. Instead of trying to fix the person’s grief, it’s important to offer support, love, and understanding.
5. The person may need support long after the initial loss.
Grief doesn’t just go away after the funeral or memorial service. The person may need support for weeks, months, or even years after the initial loss. I once heard the quote, “Grief lasts a lot longer than sympathy,” and that really hits home. Remember, most people are there in the days and weeks following a loss. Be the person who is there 6 months or a year later. It’s important to continue to offer support and check in with the person regularly.
In conclusion, grief is a deeply personal process that doesn’t have a set timeline. It’s important to understand that everyone grieves differently and to offer support and understanding without judgment. Remember that grief is not something that can be fixed, but the person can find healing and acceptance with time and support.
Be sure to check out more resources for grief here!
